Our parenting days usually consists of operating from each end of the parenting spectrum, proactive and reactive. Proactive parenting is a more encouraging and productive strategy for both ourselves and our children. When are reactive we tend to use harsher words like “stop!” or “no we cannot”. Do you feel like you fall into the trap of being more reactive than proactive with your child? Do you start to question yourself with the “Why am I doing this?” or “What am I doing wrong?”. We feel powerless, frustrated and disappointed. When we start feeling like this, let’s take a step back and see how we can achieve a more proactive resolution.
Proactive Parenting vs. Reactive Parenting
First, let’s be honest, we all have good and challenging parenting days. The days that we have struggles should not define our entire outlook on our parenting abilities. Hopefully, these concepts will help you transition to more proactive parenting moments. They have definitely helped me.
The 411 of the Day
First off, let’s get into the habit of talking to your child about what the day is doing to consist of. Let it be known that we will be going out somewhere, and later there will be naptime. By giving your child ‘positive’ warnings they may be less likely to argue with you, therefore you will not reverse back to being reactive.
Be Upbeat and Positive
When your child doesn’t listen to something you ask him to do, instead of reacting with angry emotions, try reacting with the opposite. I know it’s hard not to want to bribe or threaten, try using a more upbeat and positive tone. Let your child know you are aware they are there and you see their behavior, but you will not let it escalate into a frustrating situation. Here is a great article on positive thinking skills to get you in a positive mindset.
If it seems that certain strategies are not working any longer, maybe it’s time to start going in a new direction and try something new. As your child grow and develop, so does their reactions and behavior. Try giving them different choices that are age appropriate. As children grow older, having more responsibilities will allow them to feel in more control. They can start making good choices, being proactive, at an early age. Try these ideas for being proactive.
Be Creative in Negative Situations
Part of being proactive in being creative! There are many ideas, tips, and tricks to parenting. When your child is experiencing ongoing behavior situations, look for patterns. What triggers it? Does it happen at the same time each day? If your child seems to resist bath time, trying adding some bubbles or let them “paint” with shaving cream! Make it fun, instead of routine.
Your child may act up sometimes if they are craving your attention. It can be frustrating, but it’s ok. Shake the frustration off and involve your child in helping you. Children love to help with household tasks. Let him wash plastic cups, or give him a spray bottle and rag and let him wipe tables, bookshelves, or windows. Try playing cleaning games like these. Sometimes all children need to turn their bad behavior into good behavior is to have quality time with mom and dad.This post may contain affiliate links, please review my disclosure policy .